• most girls: hair done up really cute, lots of makeup, designer clothes, hipster blog, thigh gap
  • me: no hair, glasses, scary beard, button up shirts and porkpie hat, cooks meth to provide for my family. i am the danger. i am the one who knocks

allkillernofiller:

real talk how often are you meant to change your bra

(via officialjew)

unskinny:

I hope Miss Claudette is okay.

(via teebaka)

vaguelyjewish:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

(Source: basedyeeezus, via gloomyteens)

endocrines2:

*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*

(Source: endocrines2014, via humorking)

(Source: poussseys, via ruinedchildhood)

(Source: mypugobsession, via heyitsmc)

(via heyitsmc)

el-dispute:

let’s watch a scary movie together and get so freaked out that the only option is to have sex 

(via humorking)